


Triskaidekaphobia

by ProfaneTernion (orionCipher)



Category: Kingdom Hearts
Genre: Drabbles, I don't want to talk about it I just want to take up drinking heavily, M/M, This shit is so embarrassing
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2009-07-09
Updated: 2010-07-09
Packaged: 2018-04-08 00:59:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 1,474
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4284609
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orionCipher/pseuds/ProfaneTernion
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Mostly Akuroku drabbles</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. 1,000 Days

The slurpee was empty. So he kept sucking on the straw.  
His bed was empty. So he kept returning home to it.  
His dreams were empty. He kept sleeping.  
His arms cold and heart frozen. So he kept them open.

1000 days without his light.  
His fire.

Axel sat in the kitchen slurping his coffee straight from the pot, glancing at the morning papers and giggling at random intervals.  
Bastard had stolen the comics again.  
Across from him, Roxas plopped himself down, face fixed in a scowl, eyes burning through the vat of brew being gulped down before him. Thirstily.  
How he missed those mornings. Meaninglessly meaningful.  
Captivating in their routine.  
Two long years of sunshine in their faces.  
Not even the moon could reach him now.

Carefree Axel spinning rapidly in the teacup ride after failing to coax Roxas in with promises of sea salt ice cream and skateboard sessions for a month. Instead, his partner stood with faux disgruntled looks smearing that perfect porcelain face just like those nights alone…  
But there were no more nights alone with each other.  
Now they were just nights alone.

Promises of forever in a place far from home, just for the sense of acceptance.  
Married.  
Wed.  
Legally and spiritually bound together forever.  
Forever just never was enough though…  
The first two weeks were just a demo.  
A practice.  
Run through the same cycles like nothing had enveloped his world and sucked him lifeless.  
Like nothing…nobody…  
Nobody…

But nobodys have hearts too. And heat. And everything you never knew you needed to feel whole.  
_God, just take me too_  
Alone alone alone alonealonealonealonealone.  
For all of _their_ forever.

Does the hurt ever stop?

 _Happy death day, lover. I wish you'd stayed. Or kept me always. But don't worry, we'll be together real soon._  
And he broke down again and his tears flowed again and he died inside again.  
If looks could kill, he'd die every time he stood before a mirror.  
Oh god, if only he could…

Love birds are a special type of creature.  
Did you know?  
They form a bond between two of them and mate for life.  
And should one die?  
The other follows close behind.

Were people birds too?

After two years and two hundred and seventy days, Axel found out they were.  
That instrument of death he'd purchased lay unused under the sink the morning he didn't wake up.  
Two years and two hundred and seventy days of waiting for something he'd never see again.  
For a Somebody he'd never touch again.  
And that last night he dreamt of the truth.  
And the poor boy finally accepted it.


	2. Reprise

Hand in hand.  
That's how it should've been - hand in hand down the beach, and welcomed home at long last.  
But two that are one cannot be as two when they come back. Not when Nobody accepts the Other. Not when Riku barred him from conversations. Not when Kairi dumped Namine in the deepest recesses of her mind and crushed her down just to forget her.  


Roxas couldn't be there.

Because as much as he was a part of Sora and Sora a part of him… no matter how much both longed to co-exist… If Roxas roamed free, they'd just bury him too – in words and thoughts and gestures. 

And Sora couldn't take that. 

So when he strode back, he broke himself down and slept.  
So when Roxas woke, he broke down and cried.  
And when the others would talk and he couldn't answer – because how can he discuss something only _Sora_ knew? – they brushed it off and called him the wrong name, because he was no longer the sky.  
And when Riku held him close, he'd shake him off.  
And then Riku would hold him too tight.  
Because Sora _liked_ his hugs; wasn't that right, 'Sora'? 

Hand in hand.  
If only things had been that simple.  
Then Sora could've been smiling in the sun, and Roxas would've slept soundlessly within, and XIII would never have reached the sky and startled him awake and asked to sleep.  
And neither broken-hearted boy would've reached for the rope left over from the raft and wound it snugly in the canopy. 

Hand-in-hand was how it should've been.  
Hand-in-hand was how it ended.


	3. Love is Watching Someone Die

One Year six month anniversary.  
Reservations at The Usual Spot had been made; a private booth decked out in Memories of the two with specialty imports for dessert: Sea salt ice cream from the retired McScrooge's shop in Radiant Garden.

#####  _**Viii138138138138138138Xiii**_

Tickets to the 10pm production of Loveless sat discarded in a jean-blue pocket on a wiry frame.

#####  _**Xiii813813813813813Viii**_

There hadn't been shit for food in the machines when he'd passed them – stale looking crackers and discontinued junk food from his youth. Internally sighing, he glanced at the people surrounding him, each face about as drawn as they came.

#####  _**Viii138138138138Xiii**_

What had he said right before it all? Axel couldn't remember. Something about a new trick? He needed to know, needed to hear his voice again, feel his warmth, see his cute little face.

#####  _**Xiii813813813Viii**_

Everyone just kept rushing; people were yelling and no one smiled, just grimaced at him pitifully. _It can't be that bad, can it? Roxas…_

#####  _**Viii138138Xiii**_

He wanted to see that precious blonde again, and by the grace of some kind nurses and luck as great as eternity, he did. The matching sets of tears just stared at one another, so full of everything left unsaid.  
And when the LCD began beeping furiously, all he could see was dear Roxas, croaking out his name.  
And then…  


_Nothing_


	4. XIII

For their first date, the movie theater had an 'accident' with their film roll, and their epic went up in smoke.

Date two left a barbecue shop in cinders and sputtering embers. The entire city smelled of burnt cow and timber for a week. 

Three went smoothly: just-right marshmallows on a stick and acoustic j-rock by a fellow attendee. Until the park ranger explained to the group why bonfires were illegal in the area.  
During a state-wide burn-ban. 

Part four was canceled, because the next day the park was aflame, and everyone knows you can't have a tour in a flaming forest.  
Roxas was not amused. 

The fifth and sixth dates were total busts, as Axel was on the run for arson. Roxas had turned him in after finding his bushes in ruins the night he slept through Axels incessant text-fest.  
Axel though it was cute in a hard-to-get kind of way.  
Roxas didn't care and replanted in his now spare time.  


The time limit on what would've been date eight was pretty slim.  
Axel looked good in orange, and Roxas told him so.  
Axel explained why he looked better without orange.  
Roxas found that comment relatively inappropriate.  
The chaperon had to excuse himself to find a tissue for his severe nose hemorrhaging.  
Axel requested a conjugal visit.  
Roxas recommended ropeless soap instead. 

Ninth time was _not_ the charm.  
Axel initiated phone sex.  
He was _**Denied.**_  
But not for long. 

Ten through twelve lasted through the trial and acquittal.  
Lack of evidence and a withdrawn testimony will do that. 

And on the thirteenth date the deal was sealed when Demyx came home to find that beloved roommate Roxas really dug Axel in orange jumpsuits. A lot. 

Demyx had to buy a new bed.


	5. How Good?

When he'd died down – when the flames had died down – Sora felt sad. Sora felt like he'd gone too; like the fire had been his light.  
When Axel died down Roxas died too, in his heart. Because Axel _was_ his light.

But things felt…off.

Because Roxas didn't feel _completely_ hollow. Like the light was only dimmed and dying; not completely vanquished. But he didn't stop for that. He lay mourning inside Sora even after Xehenort was beaten and the Destiny Islands were reached. 

So when weeks later, when Sora was sleeping, when the moon was but a dim sliver and he still sobbed silently within…  
When his heart felt like it started beating again, he was shocked.  
Disgusted.  
How could it have moved on so swiftly? Didn't He mean _anything_?...

He was shocked when he heard his name. And when Sora bolted awake and was caught by Axels hands on his shoulders, he almost screamed.

And when his weary beloved just spoke his name, spoke his name to Sora with those pleading eyes, he did. Loudly.  
And Sora obliged.

For the first time in such a long time, tears were shed in happiness and hugs lasted longer than till-morning.

When asked about it, the red head had no real explanation.  
After all; just because a guy practically passes out after some heart-felt wording and disappears in a roar of fire, does not mean he's dead.

Axel laughed.  
Sora chuckled.  
Roxas chucked a barrel at them.

Life was good.


End file.
